Things are getting lubed up in Duggarland as Jim Boob is working overtime now to sell off his barely-of-chronological-aged children into marital
Joy-Anna (who is barely 19, need I remind anyone) is engaged after a less-than-3-month courtship. I still don’t have the episode I need to review Austin Forsyth’s episode of World’s Strictest Parents, but from the glimpse we got of him in the Counting On season finale last week, I’d say he’s the most Jim Bobbiest Duggar-to-be yet. Based on the trend of quick engagements, a June wedding is likely…it will provide an excuse for the Dillards to fly home for a wedding/birth double feature. Jill is due to give birth to a zika-affected child/anti-abortion prop in July.
The second Duggar boy is courting, and it’s Joe. Joe’s intended is Kendra Caldwell, who is even younger than Joy-Anna at the barely-legal age of 18, and is the daughter of a pro-Gothardite pastor who has been chummy with the Duggars for years, which means it was likely that some livestock would be traded between the two clans at some point. Kendra Caldwell also wins the award for Most Punchable Smile Outside of American Politics.
No word yet on how a fucking 20-year-old idiot who doesn’t even know how to grocery shop is going to place himself at the headship of a family. Let’s hope Kendra is smarter than she looks.
But the biggest news of all comes from the newly wedded Vuolos, and that is that Jinger takes her place in American history as the first female Duggar allowed to wear PANTS!! More specifically, Bermuda shorts than fell out of the closet of a 90’s wake boarder. Jeremy has been known to preach that he thinks the ‘skirts only’ rule is bullshit, making him the most liberal Duggar by default. Huh.
If this is what Free Jinger was trying to achieve…um, good job? But please aim higher with Jana, guys. At least aspire for her to wear something fashionable one day.